When turning 21

When turning 21, nobody wants to be left.

But for some unclear reasons, I sometimes realize hurt things. When I grew up and became a college student, I’ve learned to be alone. There’s always no one to be the first in your heart as well as you’re nothing in others’ eyes. People come and go. In one moment, I can feel that someone can play an important role in my life. And then they find someone better than me. I find someone else much readier to go out with me. We drifted apart.

I know everything in adult life is utterly a competition. Each other is striving every second to be the best. As a rule, excellent people attracts others. The weak one is left behind. I consider how and what for a relationship exists and lasts for a long time while everything has its two sides and people have their two faces, too. A smile face in font of you but a gossip story behind your back.

Since I knew how life operated, I’ve never judged someone. I’ve become easier to accept things. Like the way I became the only one to be left in the presentation subject. I feel better when being alone in almost week days. I hides my pain and try to be more positive in spite of still crying much when listening a touching song or watching movies. I know myself not an excellent one, I even hate myself not trying enough to be excellent. I hurt because of being left, and pretend to be okay. But I don’t blame on others, it’s just the actual life. And I have asolutely no choice except for trying to be the strongest.

I just feel blue.